Who am I?

I never had a “mother” or a “father”.
Mother has become akin to other,
father has become akin to further.
He’s away now, kissing some other kids goodnight.
Is it fair that he is further?
Whenever he remembers I was once born,
Does the devil come alive inside of him, and feel as forsaken as I do?
Locked out of Eden for being the rotten apple seed that grew,
and grew inside Eve’s stomach, denied the right
to have my own father kiss me, goodnight.
I don’t need umbrellas when it rains,
because I have drowned a thousands times –
thinking of you – and how,
you have built walls between us,
and have left me in the shadows of your past,
amongst the ashes –
where even in their darkness, I find myself better –
than you ever will.

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