I am tired of being hurt by people, tired of being sick and bloody tired of life. I am mentally trying to hold on to any happy thoughts I can, because I am so far gone into the darkness called my mind. I no more have a best-friend, because I am so surely inadequate to fulfill her standards. You see,some people find glory when you are left alone and left to fend for everything. I am not going to battle for people who aren’t worth it, otherwise my emotions will end up destroying me as they are now.
Humans are truly the most paradoxical species living, you find traces of them sprinkled all over you heart and drops of them blurring your vision and moreover they cloud the brain that as mine,has become vacant. Maybe I am sounding very pessimistic, it is only because I am alone, single and having to think independently. I need to get back to the ordered me, for my reliance on others has left me disordered. I need to rouse up my passions and learn to say ‘Eff you, if you don’t like me go away. Go and never come back, because I was alright to begin with.’
I am always going to be loving, never going to be perfect but one thing I will never change is my heart. Yes I am alone, yes I have no one to call my own, but it will happen one day…For now everything is just an illusion, a never ending illusion. As I get to the end of this post, I have hopes of starting to write some more stories and remember what it is that actually makes me smile and shine, blossom even.
So enough of the gloomy posts, besides my fortune cookie has told me…
Chase away bad memories today and success will smile on you.
So goodbye to all those empty shell memories of you all who have wronged and hurt me, I don’t blame you though, I blame me for believing in and being blinded by your deceptive masks.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.