I spent part of the morning talking to H, and assuring him its going to be okay. I am not letting him fail anything, cause I know what it feels like to be a disappointment. I hope he doesn’t forget what I told him, they are so many things I want to say to him yet sometimes I can’t find the courage to tell him. He seemed a bit happier that I hanged around with him. Whatever forces work up there, even if it is stars or God, I hope he does well in his exams. He needs the confidence to believe he can pass, he needs to find his own balance too. In the mean time, I understand I have been hesitant to buckle down and write but here a little poem. I am also thinking of writing some short fiction soon, I just need to find a good topic.
It was a contract I signed with my heart,
my deepest of fires – could not tame the loose desire,
He was the mover of waltzing stars,
I was the girl dreaming of para,paradise.
It was a weakness that I fell,
he was the deliverer of an unbinding spell,
his mind so intellectual, as I began breathing.
This secret war dealt like cards in the night,
as loving him became alive.
Like a Scholar trained to teach,
love gave me this collar a memory to keep.
I signed the contract with my heart,
knowing not even the world,
this feigned para, paradise
could keep us apart.