The thoughts have been playing on my mind. Z,my used to be best-friend has become an ‘ex’. Our quarrel was silly, but its been prolonging and I have felt on many occasions we have both tried to force something that isn’t naturally happening. The truth is, she is lost in her own delusional world as I am too. I can’t help her anymore, I can’t be the one to take what she tells me because she needs to learn her own mistakes. It just adds to the independence I have to sustain this year, going off to university and what not. I wish her all the best and hope she can find someone who can understand her deeply, I don’t at all. It’s time for me to move on from it all. I know I said hurtful words to her, but anger arises when the threat of someone leaving you is near.
I am letting it all go. I tired of feeling like a victim to her, or making her feel like the victim. She has a good life, yet tries so hard to dismiss what is the most important thing – her family. It teaches me too, I may have severe arguments with my mother but for loves sake after the rain goes they are rainbows. I know that this year good things will happen, bad things too but moreover happiness and being healthy is my goal.
This is your time, this is your life. – Snow Patrol, Called out of the dark.
The strange thing is I don’t feel sad or upset, I feel quite content.